At Least I put the Fun in Dysfunctional

It was found out the last Thursday in June that my friends mom only had ten days to live. Then the following Monday I was informed that she did not look good. Considering I take care of my mom I thought it prudent that I should call some people to see if they could help me out.

I of course have no idea when they will be needed so I was getting a hold of family and friends. The first person I called was my Sister in Law that lives two blocks away. I have not asked her for any kind of help since the beginning of the year and we were never able to get together. Then after having my car sit in my drive way for over a month with a flat tire while they drove mom's borrowed car everywhere and being told to wait for my brother to come in from out of town to help me get my tire fixed... It was the final straw. I decided to ask these people for nothing for myself only for mom and then I broke my own rule for a friend.

So Monday comes and goes without a return phone call. I did call another friend and she said she would help me out no matter what. That made me feel good and a little stronger. So on Tuesday I called her up again only to leave another message. This time she did call me back, it seems she had to take the dog in for a shot but no reason as to why she did not return my phone call from the day before.

She said she felt really bad for my friend but had to check her schedule. With her having to drive one of her kids to work and some other B.S. I have to admit I quit listening to her at times, thinking "You've had mom's car for over four years. A somewhat friend's mother is dying and you can help me out if she dies on your schedule." I finally said "Do you want me to call other people and see if they can help me?" her reply was "yeah if you don't mind."

This woman is 97 years old she has lead a good life and has had Alzheimer's for a long time as well. I am not asking for them to come over and spend the night. I am just trying to make sure that going to a Memorial Lunch or Dinner I can be there for my friend and not have it count as my day off.

I swear my Sis in Law said I will have your brother call you tonight. What the Hell does that mean? I don't want him to come over what about one of those daughters' that say they love Grandma so much if I have to go out at night. If these people could possibly do less I would be amazed at how they could figure it out. Mom's Granddaughters' have visited her four times this year. They live over just a little over two blocks away and the youngest is going to be seventeen. The oldest one has still not apologized to me for telling me on Mother's Day "I don't like the way you're treating Grandma" only to find out that she did not know she was telling me to invite my abuser into MY house to visit mom. That was on her third visit and when she left she called me Aunt and used my real name instead of just saying Fuck You. What she seems not to realize is that she insulted her Grandparents for giving me that name. If she wanted to hurt me she should have used my nickname. Last time she visited she called me by no name. That was on mom's birthday so I let her get away with it but next time if she cannot say my name she will not be allowed in my house even to see her Grandma for the fifth time. At the age of 23 and wanting to be a teacher I hope she taught herself a couple of lessons. Always let a person stick up for themselves otherwise it is a one sided childish fight. Also never use a person's real name to make a point when saying something like "Maybe you should try it Aunt Col le een." How she got three syllables in my name I will never know but now she cannot even talk to me or look me in the eyes. I was the perfect daughter for my mom's birthday but now that is over with, no one gets treated nicely by me anymore unless they deserve it.

It is obvious that mom was right that they really do not care about us, I hate it when she is right. I wanted to prove her wrong so badly but with not even being able to get help so I can go and help a friend I will admit defeat. My family sucks, they go to Church every Sunday but cannot even call there Grandma or Mother in Law once a week. No wonder mom said she has given up on them and just wanted them to know how she felt before she died. No one has made any special attempts to tell mom she was wrong and that just makes her all the more right. She has temporary memory loss people she is not stupid.

God Bless my Father and him not having to witness this mess. It will be nineteen years this Fourth of July that he died. I ordered some Red, White and Blue flowers for the house. I can no longer go to the cemetery by myself, it is too hot and depressing to be alone on that day. One day when everyone is crying I will be writing a book of Fiction about the way Fictional People can treat a Caregiver. I will also write some poetry and fun stories because that is what mom likes best. She just made me promise that I would write a book after she dies. She thinks I am talented when it comes to words. I get that from both sides of the family so I am lucky in that way. My punctuation might suck but if I am writing a book I will have a proofreader. It could be someone from deviantART as well considering one of my fourteen year old watcher's told me about my punctuation in my first story, I would hire her for my series if she was available. Then there is always James, a great writer and teacher. If I hire him I would do it in a heartbeat that man is so articulate it is almost embarrassing.

So from one person dying to the celebration of another person's death hopefully we will be able to join these two advents together and make some joyful noise on behalf of both people. They both loved to laugh and tell dirty jokes, she cracked me up with her dirty jokes from 1940. What can I say I bring out the best or worst in people there seems to be no middle ground for me anymore. I know this ramble a little but I had to get it out of my system. To be told to find someone else because of conflict in scheduling is one of the meanest things to say to someone when they are looking for help because someone is dying. Where is the love for mom as well? Thank God we laugh every day otherwise mom and I would be two highly depressed people.

Thanks to my deviant friends if it were not for you I would only have about three people to talk to in real life. I am also so very glad that mom and I get along so well that we still can laugh. I make sure we laugh til this very day at least six genuine laughs a day. Yes sometimes it is at the expense of this family but how can you not make jokes about people who borrow a car for four years and never say thank you. Or the little girl so mad at me for not letting my sexual abuser visit, only for her not to visit either. Does she not see she can come over and treats her Grandma this way, so she gets mad at me and never shows up for a month because it is her Grandma's Birthday. Guess what? Your best gift would have been an apology to her for ignoring her all these years. Live two blocks away and have only seen her four times. I am just glad mom said she did not want a Funeral because I would not be able to live through those girls crying when they never did anything to help. Thank you once again to my deviant friends, keeping this inside makes me want to yell and cry at the same time. If ignorance is bliss than I understand why these girls can be so happy.

My friend's mother wound up with her last laugh today. May she Rest in Peace for at least a day. Then she will start telling stories to anyone who will listen. You will be missed Trudee. My friend's from Church have got my back and will take care of mom. Thank you to all my deviant friends for reading this, I am sure I will be changing it soon considering everything has been taken care of for the moment.